Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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