Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
