idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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