I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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