I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
