But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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