well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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