pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's blow job season.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
