i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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