I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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