She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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