Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
