This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
