I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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