My hand turned me down
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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