I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Boobs are out for the taking
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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