the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
