You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
