We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
