you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
