Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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