Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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