I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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