Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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