how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
