i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
