I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
