I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize