Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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