someone threw a dead crab at me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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