Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
