There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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