It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's like iHOP with fire
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize