There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
