Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need water and some morals
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
