Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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