I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Alive.
So much puke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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