Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
