Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize