Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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