Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
