Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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