It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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