What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
