I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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