i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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