Sponge bath it is.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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