Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
