I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It's just like the Real World with babies
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
