it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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