Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize