Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
