I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
