It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
