Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
