well I can't set my house on fire every night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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