exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
