Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
