It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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