I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
