these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
