I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
