their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
